I was sitting in the (strictly men only) barber shop the other day waiting for Shams to have his 4-monthly hair cut under extreme protest and found myself in the same conversation I have with just about every Pakistani here who wants to know what the hell a white girl is doing in a country like this.
I quite like these conversations because I have taken it on as one of my missions in life to make Pakistanis appreciate Pakistan a bit more. The conversation usually goes like this: “Do you work in the UN?” to which I reply “no”. “Are you a teacher?” to which I again reply “no”. “Ahh your husband is from Pakistan” … “yes, thats right”. “What does he do?”. That is where I usually get stuck. My feminist side wants to shout “Judge me by ME, not by what my husband does!!”. My loyal wife side wants to create an instantly appealing kind of job that my husband does so that everyone will immediately thing he is as great as I KNOW he is. My truthful side usually mutters something about hotels and shops (which is the truth), knowing that it is an unsatisfactory answer and the poor Pakistani I am talking to was hoping for me to say he was a high court judge or something equally spectacular. Part of that of course stems from the fact that they were hoping I would be married to some bigshot that would make them instantly rich (in a land ruled by corruption that is a common dream) I always qualify it by telling them that he is a great man, but the disappointment is always evident on their faces.
The next thing they ask is why I dont live in Australia. Now that one takes some pretty fancy Urdu to explain, and Allah only knows whether any of them ever really understand what I am talking about, but this is where my mission kicks in. I usually answer that we choose to live in Pakistan, as strange as it is, because we believe this is a better life for us and our children than Australia can offer. That really gets them stumped. To the average Pakistani, the ultimate dream is to escape as far as they can away from this country, which is a symbol to them of poverty, hunger and hopelessness. The idea of someone coming from the mythical jannat that is the West to this hell-hole is confounding to say the very least. “WHY? Australia is so BEUOOOOTIFUUL! There is so much money! They are so good at cricket!!!!”
Of course my “better life” explanation is never enough. How could it possibly be better? This barber was certainly not satisfied. Sure, Pakistan might be dirty, poor, disorganized and seem hopeless, but even then it offers so much that Australia cannot. Everything is so comfortable in Australia that it never pushes you. It is a nafsi life where you live and die and never really get the whole point of pushing yourself to be better. It is hard to see the blessings because they are EVERYWHERE. There is nobody to give charity to, there is nobody to give zakat to, there is nobody to even give the other 2/3 of your baqra to on Eid (well actually you cant even HAVE a baqra – its illegal). As a muslim what kind of life is that?
“Look” I said, pointing to all the Quranic quotes covering the walls of the little barber shop. “No matter how bad Pakistan may seem, Allah is always near. In Australia everything SEEMS heavenly, but Allah’s name is nowhere to be seen”.
By this point in the conversation the barbers had all stopped what they were doing to listen to this bizarre female trying to talk about Islam – because no matter who you talk to, religious talk is ALWAYS listened to intently.
Shams finished his haircut and was dragging me out the door for his promised treat, but I finished by telling these simple guys that the west might look clean on the outside, but the heart is empty, whereas Pakistan is dirty on the outside, but there is still a grain of truth left in even the most hardened of hearts and that is enough to give the whole of Pakistan hope.
Feeling pretty happy that I was able to spread my message a little further, I started to leave and the barber (like just about everyone I have ever had this conversation with) leaned in out of earshot of the others in the shop and quietly asked…
“can you help me get a visa for Australia then…?
November 28, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Mrs. Shah,
Shehzad told me about your spectacular story, and is an old friend of mine. Thank you for seeing the brighter side of things. I hope that you have a comfortable, challenging, and satisfying time in Pakistan. I look forward to reading your future posts.
November 29, 2010 at 3:40 am
Thanks Arsalan – usually i just travel through life here in Pakistan without even realising i am different, but when i remember to look beyond the day to day I realise I really have something to say. Thanks for reading!
December 4, 2010 at 7:17 pm
I too maintain a blog, which I write for from time to time. It often discusses the lighter side of things, along with more serious subjects, and occasionally, poetry. I thought you might enjoy reading some of it: http://www.longdrives.wordpress.com
Best regards,
November 29, 2010 at 6:41 am
It was interesting to go through your blog. I’ve never seen Pakistan from this perspective and the way you look at it makes it seem beautiful, which it actually is. A wonderful piece.All prayers for you and may you remain as positive as you are
All the best for your future posts
November 29, 2010 at 10:40 am
Thats lovely thanks Qasim. Cant guarantee the positivity, but can always use the prayers! Thanks very much.
November 29, 2010 at 9:07 pm
You didn’t mention TV in barber shop which almost all of them have attached on one of the four corners of the ceiling, always playing Indian songs or movie. You know we want to keep Allah on our side and at the time please shetaan as well.
November 30, 2010 at 1:21 am
Thats very true, but do you know, this barber shop DOES NOT have a TV! The TV is reserved for the ladies section (which i do not enter for this very reason) where they sit and watch their Hindu dramas all day with stunned looks on their faces!
April 27, 2011 at 8:48 am
I never got over myself laughing at this. The whole scenario is so true that it is ridiculously funny. About the West and Pakistan conversation bravo on making that point; I salute you for that! May Allah bless you!
November 22, 2011 at 6:39 pm
That was seriously funny but I’m sure by now you’ve made it back home
December 13, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Nice to read your blog. You are a great addition to the population of Pakistan. Born Muslims are a bit lethargic and do not offer enough thanks for the guidance to the true path of Allah. But I have observed newly converted Muslims are very hard working being appreciative of the great favor of Almighty Allah did to them.
Life in Pakistan is not easy. But you listen azan 5 times a day and you are gently reminded it is time for prayers. You feel closeness and independence
of pronouncing your belief openly and loudly. A Pakistani girl went for Ph D
and when she heard voice of azan on airport, on return, she prostrated on the tarmac.
December 13, 2011 at 10:19 pm
as salaamu ‘alaiki!
This is Hafsa from the home-school group and I just wanted to say a huge jazakillah khayran for sharing your inspiring story, mashaAllah! May Allah bless you with the fruits of such a pure intention (moving for the sake of preserving your deen), ameen! I can understand the bewilderment –most people here think I’m talking crazy for moving there (I am originally from Swat, PK but have lived in the U.S since I was 7), but most of my reasons align with what you yourself mentioned.
On the educational front, having taught for 2-years, the current state of elementary & high school education doesn’t leave much to be desired even here in the U.S. As for deen and retaining our Muslim identity –I thought what I was exposed to in high school 15 years ago was bad, but wow it is unbelievable what these youths are exposed to at present, subhanAllah, and how confused and lost they become by it; that’s the biggest motivation for me to move to a Muslim country…whatever its faults are. At best, we can hope that it will be a catalyst for positive change in the future, bi’ithnillah ta’ala.
What is funny is that most of us who do travel to the west intend for it to be temporary… but oh how much it emboldens our “westernized nafs” (love the term)!